I am constantly searching for context. A difficult task when you keep starting over. The funny thing is, I have adapted pretty well to the unfamiliar- that it has become what is familiar. I live in a self invented world in the context of a real world surrounded by a new world and immersed in a challenging situation that provides a great deal of inspiration but in many ways becomes unreal. Am I making myself clear? I didn't think so.
Someone recently made a comment on my Facebook page that made me smile; "I don't know how you still do this." was her comment to me regarding me starting a new year in a new school. How does one continue to find motivation to do whatever they do?
It's an interesting question and one I ask myself quite often. The motivation is the method. That by discovery; whether it is within the three year old that I am teaching or in my own daily rhythm, there will always be something to learn or cherish or notice or be grateful for. That is how I still do this. In gratitude you can always find motivation because without it all you will find is a void.
I am here to say that I have been tired lately and grumpy and less then joyful and I want to apologize to anyone who may have caught me in one of those moments. But here's the good news, not once did I let those feelings consume me. Not once did I say "I give up" ( maybe I thought it) but the point is I remembered I am very grateful for all that life has given me and in that split second of self doubt and self pity I pushed through, spun around, took a deep breath and went on with the reinvention.